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doctorcanon:

cmcross:

No, you don’t understand.

This actually happens.

We got a 16 year old boy on our unit once, because Pediatrics was full, and it’s about 1 in the morning and all the nurses are at the nurses station having a break and we’re  all talking and having a laugh and then all of a sudden this kids heart monitor just goes CRAZY.

So we call the code and I grab the crash cart and about 6 of us just take off running down the hall and we bust in the room and this kid is just sitting there with his hand around his junk looking MORTIFIED.

So we just sort of backed out of the room quietly, walked calmly to the stairwell, and had a total and complete hysterical breakdown.

It was the funniest shit ever.

Omigod so many nurses have told me stories like these. 



romulusthread:

panemsrebellion:

romulusthread:

STOP UNFOLLOWING ME I HAVE 5 CHILDREN AND A WIFE TO SUPPORT

you are a gay teenage boy

NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN





nowthatswitty:

More witty here :)







When I die, I want someone to keep updating my facebook status to freak people out. 

sodamnrelatable:

People be like

image

“It’s colder than i thought it would be in hell.”

“Send food”

“Didn’t anyone tell them I’m claustrophobic?”

“Umm…you guys…can you like…dig me up…I’m 6 feet under the ground in a coffin with my phone so uhhh yeah…”

“Omg, Satan is so funny!”

“Hell isn’t that bad, at least you get internet :)”

“Hitlers a badass!”

“I’m gonna stop by some of your houses, see you guys soon”





best-of-funny:

fluttershwee:

benoistmelissas:

DO

NOT

SPEAK

TO ME

WHEN

I HAVE

HEADPHONES

ON

JESUS

CHRIST

image

X







awayed:

my sister and i agreed to put “i love [insert eachothers names]” as our senior quotes but i wanted to make it real so



be-yourself-not-them:

wwruska:

REAL Lesbians React to Lesbian Porn!

I’m laughing so hard oh my god

Funny :’)



sunshineonarainynight:

stars-in-constellations:

theironyofchokingonbandmembers:

hungerkunst:

existentialist-bitch:

Wow. I didn’t like macklemore and then I saw this and completely changed my mind.

Macklemore you are amazing.

why would you not like macklemore in the first place? the guy writes songs about equality and things that matter 

woah

x